The Mechanic  •  September 11th, 2011

BROOKLYN – The terrorists hate Home Runs. All that glory. All that freedom. All that American swagger conveniently Go-Wrapped™ and stuffed with feast-worthy Rocky DVDs, chili-drenched whatever, a bald eagle feather and a commemorative 8X10 glossy of some oiled-up D cups–all hot 'n serve ready to anybody who can square one up in Brooklyn at York Field. 

On the 10 year remembrance of September 11th, The DC born Rookie J. Kling stunned onlookers as he lit up the chopper-filled skies with a rookie record tri-pack of bombs in his debut while simultaneously hoisting the american spirit high up on the heavy-hearted day. "I was just trying to get awesome" explained the current Amsterdam squatting rook wearing early 90s NBA-style shorts. Kling strolled into York Field on Sunday bolstering a highly decorated resume of the rope & peg board variety but had never as much picked up a bat before. A great feat as no other rookie has emerged out of the dry-iced triggered 'F' train stop on York & Jay and put up more than a pair.

The other sluggers heaped on with friendly-fire and stacked up an even dozen bombs on the day with The Surgeon leading the way by getting back on the reg with 6 BQE border-jumpers, proving that the 2-peat Champ's recent hitting slump is curtains. "I'm hitting dead center, I feel like a 19 hands high wild horse who's in the prime of his life, my passport is littered with stamps from fucking everything on the globe and i'm eating like a pit boss at the Bellagio" remarked the brazen slugger.

The heralded and un-suspendable Diamond Haas was a no show on Sunday–leads believe he was a part of a terrorist stakeout operation in Wall Street that included bottomless tall boys and all you want backseat crown-vic lap dances. Call to his agent were unreturned.

Season 3 keeps rolling as the next tilt is set for this Sunday (9/18) when the athletes will play the "Remember El Violader" game. First pitch 3:05pm.

G1: R: 5, B: 6
G2: B: 6 R: 7
G3: R: 1, B: 14

HRs: Surgeon; 6 (29), Rookie Kling; 3 (3), Golf Shotz; 1 (4), Mechanic; 1 (6), Secret Agent; 1 (5)

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