Soy Peligroso • May 14th, 2017
BROOKLYN — Bazooms. Bazookas. Kablammos. Ta-tas. Yabbos. Highbeams. Golden Winnebagos. Thelma and Louises… It doesn’t matter what you call them, a tit is a tit is a tit. They’ve been priming the Mothership pump for 9 years and counting. Milky, wet, weird, red, black… the hope of victory always lies with glory pillows. For all the inspiration they (and the women behind them) give us, it’s the least we can do to give a little back. Thus, Hard Nippers for Round Trippers™ AKA Bombs For Moms™ was born.
Perhaps in a fateful nod to lopsidedness, the day’s games were seemingly over before they began. Outscoring their opponents 35-4, the Reds swept all 4 cocksoggy contests with an easy breezy approach while the Blacks plumbed the murky depths of the soul. “Hearts of darkness, hearts of darkness,” rain-manned the Black Shepherd, gazing at a healthy pile of human shit occupying the visitor’s dugout. “Madness. Horror. The cobwebbed corners of the mind. Stickball is a reflection of our innermost demons…” “Ay, pastorito,” eye-rolled the Magic Man. “Cabrón, don't you know? La vida es el juego, and we already won.” The Red squad failed to notice. They were last seen huddled around an earmarked Club magazine, regaled by the Doctor of Stench, yuks abundant.
And so it was. For the third consecutive year, our Tubmans will be donated to My Hope Chest, an organization governed by a formerly lopsided showgirl with a pink website and an appetite for mammary construction. This year’s contribution of $140 is one small step for man, two giant tits for mankind.
G1: B’s: 0, R’s: 16
G2: R’s: 10, B’s: 3
G3: B’s: 1, R’s: 2
G4: R’s: 7, B’s: 0
HRs: Rizz Everywhere, 2 (9); Soy Peligroso, 2 (7); Stinkmitt, 2 (4); Secret Agent, 1 (6).
BLACKS: The Magic Man, The Shepherd, The Diamond Haas and Soy Peligroso
REDS: Stinkmitt, Rizz Everywhere, 8-Ball and The Secret Agent