The Mechanic • October 28th, 2012
BROOKLYN – Sure this wasn’t the World Series, it was only the semis, so let’s not start tickling any trophy balls just yet, but in the LCS this could be the hold-muh-dick pennant performance of the century. The Black 1’s–labeled now by the press as BIG BLACK–went ahead and Sandy’d on Sunday before Sandy Sandy’d most of us on Monday. And in a parallel wish, the next opposition to face this team, along with the great tri-state area, truly hopes that this kind of destruction never happens again.
The Black 1’s straight Peter North’d up the BQE last Sunday by shoelacing an unprecedented 26 HRs as they advanced to the 4th annual YFS World Series (Nov. 4th, 10AM–Live on The Playboy Channel).
“I’m not sure what happened to be honest, it’s sort of a blur, but I know i was wearing very bright colored shoes” exalted the only walk-on player in YFS history, The Wanderer Link while sipping a celebratory Bud Tall at the postgame press conference. Link would top HR honors on the day with indescribable 9 departures.
“Hits were just jumping off The Wanderer's lumber all day and that shit was contagious” remarked LA-product Golf Shotz Kadin who was no side show and almost caught his BIG BLACK teammate with an astounding 8 HRs of his own.
And despite the overall outcome, the now departed Black 2’s were never really out of it till the very end. Down by 18 runs in game 1, the B2’s made a strategic move and showcased offensive grapes by putting up 6 in the late frames to let bitches know they were far from done. And in game 2 kept the hit fiesta popping as they stormed back and blasted BIG BLACK in similar dick stomp fashion 17-7. Leading the way was ‘11 Champ Baby Bok Choy who went back-to-back-to-back-to-back with 7 HRs in the series. “Honestly, I thought he was gonna hit 25” remarked The rookie Dom M. who banged a no doubter for his team in game 2.
“We knew it was a long shot to win game 1 with the Black 1’s up by so many, we just needed to get to the final game, But when they started making another retarded run in the middle of game 3, it was time to fire up the whips and pack the JanSport, shit was over” said the community beloved B2 slugger Baby Handsome.
“These guys hit and hit big, Agent had 5 dings and found his rhythm out there, started hitting dead center, he got that look in his eye” remarked The Captain the Mechanic while drinking 3.5 Budweisers talls from a large mixing bowl usually reserved for making pot cookies. “Captain put us on a 2 a days with 12 pushup & 6er of talls all last week, the regime seems to be working and we see no reason to change it” said B1 teammate Local Kid Hobbs.
Both Black squads combined for a record postseason run total that was in the upper 90s and the HR count was at 37 for the 3 pack of games. BIG BLACK hopes they can tote a fraction of that lumber into tomorrow’s World Series, if they do, then they know they have a decent shot at hauling in a title.
The best of five 2012 YFS World Series is at York Field tomorrow, first pitch 10AM (LIVE on The Playboy Channel)
The Black 1’s are: Golf Shotz, The Secret Agent, The Wanderer, The Local Kid Hobbs and The Mechanic
The Black 2’s were: Baby Bok Choy, La Grievance, The rookie Dom M., The Warlock and Baby Handsome
1: B1: 25, B2: 8
G2: B2: 17, B1: 7
G3: B1: 28, B2: 11
HRs; Wanderer 9, G. Shotz: 8, Baby Bok: 7, Mechanic: 6, S. Agent: 5, B. Handsome: 1, Dom M.: 1