The Mechanic • November 6th, 2011
BROOKLYN – "The King is dead! The King is dead! Long live the League!". Some new nuts have risen up and cast shadows on the vast grounds of York Field. The Black 1's divvied up the victory duties last last last last Sunday as they continued their well-rounded approach from the semis with a barrage of hits, ribbies and D thus earning them the 2011 World Championship title. It gave the Black 1 team the highest honor this sport can bestow as well as York panty rights for all of next year. Captained by Soy Peligroso who broke through after 3 years by keeping his head up and his team believing as the Black Attack™ wore out the Reds, finally ending King Surgeon's reign and taking what was rightfully theirs. "I just gotta give it up for my squad…we toughed it out, never quit and now our cocks are gonna be polished and detailed by any skeezer in the tri-state!….maybe Portugal as well, still waiting for a call back" exalted Peligroso. When Soy came into the league he was a farm boy from Kansas City, a soft talker with a sometimes wicked bat. Now he joins the select club who can rightfully call themselves YFS Champs without fear of the Stickball Gestapo. Joining Peligroso in the tit-wealthy champagne room was the only other 2-peat champ The Secret Agent, Rookie sensation The Gator, 2011 Rookie of the year Baby Bok Choy, and The Connoisseur, whose swing came alive in the 2011 playoffs to shatter any rumored notions of pant-smuggled flaps.
Capping the greatest semis with the greatest collection of talent to date, the 2011 Fall Classic was destined to be a slugest, and slug it out they did as Surgeon and the R2's fought back hard to push the series to the maximum 5 games. "Hats off to the Black 1's, they played us tough and deserved it…I'm proud of our guys, they left their hearts and livers out on that concrete today we just came up a bit too short" sighed a dejected Doctor. Joining the Surgeon in defeat was '10 Champ El Matador, Baby Handsome, The rookie Orhan B. and The Diamond Haas–another York pillar whose 3 year campaign has cruelly netted nothing but tit brushups with Lady Victory.
Both teams were ice cold at the dish despite arriving to the field at the buttcrack of dawn for BP, each downing a dangerous mix of raisin bran, greenies and time-release horse tranqs to limber up the soul. The Reds jumped out early to an early 1-0 lead, taking Game 1 as The Surgeon did what he does best by parking another post season no doubter. A crucial late-inning error on the Blacks sealed the Red victory, and for a time Atlantic City bookies were fielding mid-finals bets that saw the Reds taking it all in 3. But despite his bad day at the dish, Peligroso kept his athletes loose enough to come back for a Game 2 blanking of the Rojos and evening the series. Pitching was definitely an issue for the Red 2's as the Surgeon's lumber was birdbathed time and time again as the Captain could find no Tennile as he rotated pitchers like businessmen going through travel pillows and porno rags. His persistent woes led to a 2nd straight shutout in Game 3 as The Connoisseur powered the Blacks with two Costco-size bombs.
The Secret Agent began Game 4 with a moonshot to step down on the throats of the Reds. Facing elimination, The Diamond forced extra-innings with a clutch RBI followed by a back-breaking walk off triple by the Surgeon that nipped inside the left field line pushing the series to a Game 5 in what was shaping up to be an exhausting day of competition. Teams were haggard, barley fatigued and feet were bloody. The entire 2011 season would all come down to this. For the first few innings, both teams struggled to find a rhythm. Boc Choy, who had gone a frigid 1-33 in this series, stepped to the dish in the 6th decided to set Dumbo aflame once again as he tariffed a lone Penn #2, deploying it for assignment, a 3-run symphony HR that would base pump and rejuvenate the Black Attack clubhouse.
"I kept the suds flowing, so i knew it was only a matter of time before I broke through. I can actually think of a fuckload of times when suds let me down, but today wouldn't be one of them, I'm just glad my team stuck with me" ranted the 2011 Rookie of the year, Boc Choy. After that the Red 2's could do nothing more than watch the title slip away as the Blacks tacked on 3 more and never looked back. And with that the 2011 season comes to a close and a new era is born.
G1: R: 5, B: 1
G2: R: 0, B: 3
G3: B: 2, R: 0
G4: B: 2, R: 4
G5: R: 2, B: 7
HRs: Conny: 2, Surgeon: 2, S. Agent: 1, Baby Boc: 1
Fall Classic vid invite by Raw Dog Robinson HERE.