The Mechanic  •  July 8th, 2012

BROOKLYN – "Murder's row" said a well-titted passing CUNY coed who got a peek through the chain-link fence at the Champ roster for the 3rd RINGS VS. THINGS All-Star game last Sunday. The York Field Stickball All-Star game that has found worthy matchup traction in the last two years when pairing YFS sluggers who've won it all against the ones who've yet to taste the highest highest honor that the world can issue you.

The Champs were back-2-back Champ The Secret Agent, '11 Champ Connoisseur Cain, 2-time Champ The Surgeon Koepke and '09 Champ The Mechanic" Church who took on the ringless toe-tappers' The Diamond Haas, The Prince Johnson, Rookie Amir F., Baby Handsome Kearse, Le Grievance Grieve, Craig Balls and Rookie Dom M.

From the onset the Champ side was Mexican-border serious as they wasted no time by putting up a five spot in the first frame and never looked back. A far cry from the 2011 mid-summer Classic when The Champs talked a metric ton of shit leading up to the game, bolstered a theme song and even parked a FlashDancer-sponsored taco & relaxation truck down the first base line. What resulted last year was a vengeful barn-belting from the ringless ones. This year The Champs did away with all the pageantry as it was only their lumber that showed up and preached a life-changing 18-run sermon while the opposition uncharacteristically grunted and sharted out only one run all day.

"Feels good to pull even, we got embarrassed last year and this helps us get back in it" rambled The Secret Agent who thwapped a restaurant-quality bomb on the day. And yes the Champs played their nuts off, but one can't overlook this year's ringless squad and their lack of underdog fight. "To be honest, they seemed more concerned with getting hits so they could log more time in the dugout shade as opposed to actually competing" said the Mechanic who went 8-14 with a BQE sky lantern of his own.

Historically non-champ players have used this game as a stepping stone to winning it all. Previous turncoats include '11 Champions Soy Peligroso and The Connoisseur Cain who took this game seriously last year as they both tow-boated in an oil tanker full of grit, piss and vile and came out on top.

"To be honest we just didn't see much of that tenacity this year from the virgins" said The Surgeon who executed a flawless All-Star bill by parking 6 jacks in the game and taking home his 3rd consecutive HR Derby title.

Next year will be the rubber game and it's expected to be an all out cage match as both sides will be fighting for the series lead. The second half of YFS Brooklyn's Season 4 marches on as the next game is set for this Sunday, 1:05 start.

Things: 1
Rings: 18

HRs: Surgeon; 6 (22), S. Agent; 1 (17), Mechanic; 1 (6)

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