The Mechanic • October 16th, 2011
BROOKLYN – A year ago York Field inception player and 2011 Red 2 teammate Baby Handsome was living in a garage in Williamsburg, Brooklyn while playing drums for the band "Ladies Choice". More times than not, Ladies made the choice to keep their pants and skirts racheted-down when visiting the hot plate-equipped living quarters of Handsome after shows. But in the spring of this year Baby was reunited with his high school lady and the pair moved into an East Village apartment as the beloved slugger's weekly field time was cut back and the couple focused on make-up laps in the fuckseat. After a call was placed to Kearse from the Commissioner last month, Handsome decided it was time to return to the field and play in the YFS Fall Classic. Qualifying with only a few weeks left in the regular season, bat rust was prominent as critiques had no choice but to sell him as this year's postseason anchor, the one you'd have to pick up for. But then it happened, Last Sunday in game 2 of the RLCS, the now cocksman-first athlete erupted with a grand slam in the bottom of the 7th and although his R2 squad would perish in that game, he became the unlikely x-factor that not only made his teammates believe they would be playing in the finals, but every motherfucker in a 5-state radius believe it as well. "No doubt about it, He showed up fit, amply fucked and ready to play" remarked the Diamond who hit 1 for 22 in the series but went a perfect 14 for 14 with the Lone Wolf-comped Bud tall boys.
Game 1 in the RLCS was a sack of nerves for both sides as the wind blew down hard off the BQE putting a damper on any athlete window shopping for easy postseason bombs as early inning pitches looked to be tightly-gripped palm balls that sometimes soared up to 6-feet wide of the plate. The game 1 difference was The Surgeon's solo crack in the bottom of the 7th which fittingly ended in a 1-0 squeak victory for the R2s. Game 2 was the daily gem with both sides swapped big hit after big hit–Handsome's Grand Salami in the 7th and the now much respected rookie R. Link who answered Handsome with a 3-run bomb of his own as both sides continued issuing punch after punch setting up that it was truly anybodys to win. 2 outs and down by a run in the bottom of 9th, the R1's faced elimination as they were down to their final pitch when the rookie R. Link stepped to the dish and kept them alive with a bloop single. '09 world champion Raw Dog Robinson was next and picked him up with a clutch triple to tie it, then the '10 champ Galea calm as nuts walked off with a line drive single pushing Raw Dog across the plate and the R1s celebrated with a 7-6 ball stomper that mind bent the R2's who were a mere one swing away from popping bubbly moments before.
The stage was set for Game 3 and as it got underway it was apparent that one swing of The Surgeon's lumber wasn't going to be enough this time...or would it? The final game lumbered along in a zero zero tie when the 6th inning controversial "Foulgate" call of this game came to be. On pitch 2 of his at bat, Surgeon's swing-nips a dribbler headed down the right line as the pitching '10 Champ El Matador chased it down and the defending '10 champ Local Boy charged in from the outfield both hoping to land a hand-swat of the ball that would shake out in their favor–The pair met at the border and samba'd their way down the white line and out of bounds–it was bang bang for the ump who could not gather enough visual info to rule the batter out. The next pitched ball The Surgeon saw was already packed for 2 weeks in the Bahamas as it left the yard in first class fashion, snacking on cashews, ordering a double Gin & Tonic while no-shame tit-gazing at the 20-something flight attendant as the wings tilted upward and the ball disappeared into the blue issuing the R2s a then 3-0 lead.
The R1 defense wasted no time assembling a Johnny Cochran lead protest rally that took place in right center field. "If it doesn't make sense, you should find for the defense" rambled the snap-phrased Cochran as the R1s promptly barked and supported every one of his findings. The R1s continued arguing that the Surgeon should of been out and that AB should of never happened, but after the ump heard arguments from both sides the call stood and the contest moved forward.
From the stands it still looked like anybody's game with only a 3 run lead, but The R1s never seemed to recover, choosing to spend the rest of their postseason innings vocalizing the injustice call and in turn it eventually sealed their fate as the game ended 3-1. But take nothing away from Surgeon and the R2's who played their D off on Sunday and battled back more than once and earning their spot in the finals. "That wasn't easy, our guys hung in there, played hard and now we're going to the god damn World Series!" remarked a pumped and horny Baby Handsome who was groping a chainlinked-pressed coed fan.
The collective turns all eyes on The Surgeon this weekend to see if he can do the unthinkable and lead his squad and obtain his 3rd consecutive World Title. The best of 5 World Series is set for this Sunday at York Field as Hustler Club consent-comped BJs for Red finals players are available beginning at 8:35am, first pitch 10:05am (FOX).
G1: R1s: 0, R2s: 1
G2: R2s: 5, R1s: 6
G3: R1s: 1, R2s: 3
HRs: M. Koepke; 3, A. Robinson; 1, D. Galea; 1, K. Kearse; 1 (GS)
RED 2's are: The Surgeon, The Diamond, Baby Handsome, Rookie Orhan
RED 1's were: Local Boy Hobbs, Blackberry, Raw Dog, La Grievance Grieve, The Wanderer.