The Mechanic • October 28th, 2012
BROOKLYN – “Don’t F with the GCC” polo shirts were abundant in the stands at York Field last Sunday as The Connoisseur Cain surged in the RLCS as his playoff balls had to be choppered into York Field prior to his arrival. “Let’s face it, I like the post season. And around this time my nuts get big, real big, so I have to have them airlifted into the stadium...I simply can’t ride my bike over, that’d be impossible and absurd” said the always-smiling Cain who provided the offensive backbone for the R2s.
“He made us believe for sure” said the Captain Peligroso who pounded a no-doubter on the day. “I know his YFS nickname is the Connoisseur, but he’s got some African Lion-shit going on right now with that new hair of his, and the way he paces out there in left field, it’s like he’s defending a harem of bitches and cubs–it’s god damn awesome.”
The R1’s headed up by the captain Surgeon were as surprised as anybody by their lack of offense. “No way around it, I didn’t see this coming at all” said a passerbyer holding a hurricane-ready 8-pack of mini poland spring bottles, some LA looks hair gel and 2 Nutrigrain bars. “Just wasn’t our day, wish we could strike ‘em up again, but we had our shot and just picked the wrong day to ice down our offense–hats off to the Red 2’s who played great” said the Diamond Haas who got off the postseason schneid with a game 1 BQE bomb.
Surge who hit a jack in his first at bat seemed primed to lead his team to a 4th consecutive trip to the World Series but what happened after that was hard to watch as the well decorated ‘09 & ‘10 champ struggled to even make contact and even uncharacteristically dropped a pair of catchable balls in left field. Rumors that a certain hot ‘n wet FSU miffed coed spiked his Cutty & Water at Pedros in Brooklyn Saturday night will remain an open case with YFS player tampering unit (PTU). The Surgeon was unavailable for comment, but his agent had this to say: “He’s in Spain right now trying to fuck his way out of this mess, and he will, and then he’ll be back. He’s also going to ump the 2012 World Series this Sunday. Nobody around here is worried, especially the Surgeon himself.”
But this was most certainly the RED 1’s day, as Conny lead the charge and was backed up by solid hit and run offense and defense from his teammates. “He just had it and chances point to him having that same swagger on Sunday, once he turns it on it stays on” spouted the always even-keeled dead center power hitting the Prince Johnson.
Peligroso and Cane are also coming off a Championship years so they’re fully aware of what it takes to win in a World Series and will definitely show up with that laser focused game plan to do just that.
The winner-take-all best of 5 World Series commences tomorrow as heavy hearts for the area will be in full effect. First pitch is at 10AM–live on the Playboy Channel.
The Red 2’s are: The Connoisseur, Soy Peligroso, The Craftsman, The Prince and Jinkies Oneil*
The Red 1’s were: The Surgeon, The Diamond, Turk Shotgun, The Cobble Hill Kid and El Matador
*DNP–grounded in VA
G1: R2s: 5, R1s: 11
G2: R1s: 6, R2s: 4
HRs; Conny C.: 4, Diamond: 1, S. Peligroso: 1, Surgeon: 1, T. Shotgun: 1