The Mechanic  •  October 28th, 2013

BROOKLYN – The Smithsonian called. They want El Matadors’ balls.

In an undisclosed 4-figure deal struck late last Saturday night, Smithsonian president Chris Liedel personally inked a deal with York Field Stickball journeyman The Matador Vives that will allow the museum sole-ownership of the center-fielder’s nuts once the YFS star is finished with them. The same balls Matador used last Saturday afternoon to propel his team into the 2013 World Series with a 3-run triple blast. “They told me they want to stuff them like a prize-winning Big Horn Ram. I thought that was kinda cool” said an elated Vives.

Never has a YFS postseason series seen such a reversal of fortune as Matador and the Red 1's came back being down 3 runs in the final frame of game 2 to sweep the then charging Red 2's. "It is and will always be a nightmare for us, but Matador straight up balled us...respect" remarked the dejected R2 Captain The Surgeon.

For most of his career, Matador has been a pull-power lefty hitter lifting balls to York's deep right field’s catchable abyss but is now finding news ways to slay his opponents. And doing it under severe offensive conditions as this series was all but set to go to a final game 3 as the momentum was inarguably with The Surgeon-lead R2s. But one also can’t help notice a trend with any Secret Agent lead squads that choking out oppositions prior to a complete series is nothing new for The R1 Captain Secret Agent. "I get that it's exciting for all watching here and on Cinemax to want a final and deciding game, but I find it’s best to nip any series in the bud, because the longer they go on the less chance we have at boot ‘n shovel-removing their hearts and souls” said the always cordial YFS serial killer and 3-peat Champion Agent.

Chilly weather and swirl winds saw a low scoring game 1 with Surgeon and R2’s coming back to tie it with 2 runs in the bottom of the 9th but failed to seal it at home. The R1’s Agent and Wanderer combined to put up 2 more in the top 11th as the R2s dropped steaks in the mud and couldn’t answer, ending the first game 5 to 3.

Game two the R2’s were starting to gel as teammate Dom The Deal was feeling it as the lean 4-pack was visibly having big fun out there. “Deal was like a confident prizefighter, bouncing around catching balls with mad panache, and only two years in The League but The Deal knows what the YFS postseason is about, playing loose and duty free, how you should” said the bagged-up Chinese lady who’s had standing room only tickets to a handful of YFS games throughout the years. And with the R2’s being up 3 runs in the last frame in Game 2 AND against a squad that had only produced 2 runs all game, the contest looked like a defensive formality.
But near miss catches and errors combined with threaded needle hitting would pen up a different ending as The Red 1’s slowly began eating away at that 3 run lead. First up was Wanderer who lead off with a ground out. Then Matador hits a single in left center that was bobbled twice by The Surgeon but eventually dropped. Local Boy then nabbed a single followed by What's Up Jack? who grounded out. Agent then reaches with a miss hit squibber to right as a charging Turk Shotgun gets there but fails to haul it in. Next up is Link who gets up with runners on first and second and drives one deep as The Surgeon climbed the ladder to make an amazing play on the ball to save a triple but allows yet another single and more importantly keeps the inning alive. So with the bases loaded and two outs, The Matador takes his second pitch and bangs a gut-wrenching triple off the York wall mopping the bags and scoring the three go ahead runs.

And just like that.

It was over.

The Black 1's celebrate and end the series with 6-5 ball punch.

“Obviously we’re pumped as FUCK, that was a huge series for us. Hats off to the Red 2’s who played great, but then Vives showed up with those museum balls and that honestly was the difference. We’re going to The motherfuckin’ finals!” said an elated Wanderer.

The Red 1’s advance to play The Black 2’s in a best of 5 global domination World Series at York Cathedral this Sunday. First pitch 10:05am. Exclusively on The Telemundo Channel.

G1: R1s: 3, R2s: 5
G2: R2s: 5, R1s: 6

HRs: M. Koepke: 3 (3), R. Link: 2 (2)

The Red 1’s are: The Secet Agent, The Wanderer, The Local Boy Hobbs, What's Up Jack? and The Matador
The Red 2’s were: The Surgeon, Dom The Deal, Baby Handsome and Turk Shotgun

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