The Mechanic • October 28th, 2013
BROOKLYN – The Connoisseur loves a big room. And he wasted no time getting comfortable at the head of The YFS postseason table last Saturday ordering up numerous glory-stacked neptune towers at the autumn-rich feast that is The York Field Stickball Fall Classic.
The Black 2’s Cain became a legitimate defensive nightmare for the opposition as he hit-sprayed the yard like a fart-dusting business man weaving in and out of crowds at a packed airport terminal. Cain’s switch was on as he visibly loved every chance he got to scan the defensive and then put it where they ain’t.
Be it playoff jitters or the 50 degree weather, both sides came out of the gates icy as neither team could put together many runs early on. Game 1, B2’s were down 2-1 in the 8th when Conny Cain tied it up with a laser RBI double to right center. Then Rookie Aaron K. reached the bags with a single and the Mechanic went in for garbage detail as he blasted a 3-run bomb to put the B2’s up 5-2 and held game 1’s lead for good. "Conny had that swagger, that smile. He ties it up with a double and then with Aaron getting on, I just tried to put bat to ball and it flew out”. said The Mechanic while eating a ‘C’ sanitary-rated Bridge Fresh Deli Tuna wrap with a chilled Bud Tallboy handling the wash-down duties.
Mechanic's 3-run bomb felt like the first of two big blows for the opposition. The second blow to the squad appeared B1-induced when No Gracias took to the dish with the bases-loaded and almost snuck in a RBI flare but the Black 2 sag defense setup pocketed the would be hit. From there the ‘13 BLCS seemed to take the shape of a forfeit as The Black 1's spirit went dark. With blood in the water, The B2's ran away with the 2nd game and The Series ending it 6 to 2.
“We’re going to the World Series, bitches!” shouted Soy Peligroso as the Black 2’s celebrated in the outfield of one of the most coveted slabs of concrete on the planet.
The Black 1’s rolled into the series with a ton of Black 2 data, maybe too much. As they post game admitted they felt outmatched but also thought they could McGyver a plan to upend the B2’s with scouting reports and big intelligence. First on their list was “extra knitwear” as the day was scheduled to be temp-rated in the low 50s. “I just told my guys to bring warm clothes, thinking that the B2s would show up skimp-dressed like a speedboat full of Miami douchecats” said Captain Cobble Hill Kid. But the B2s who are all employed and had previously reached a station in life where they had enough money to exchange for weather savvy smartphones also showed up with additional clothing options.
What also stood out for the Black 1’s was a curious line up as No Gracias was slotted in the 5 hole and in turn became a backdoor setup man for one of their big bats in The Lone Wolf. Other experts saw this as team chemistry cancer. “The kid (No G.) has the make-up of Rick Ankiel, real rabbit ears...you need to be mentally prepared as a team to lead off the batting order with a potential automatic out and move on from there...he's a great chemistry guy...and best used as a table setter...From what we saw on Cinemax, they put him in the corner like Frances ‘Baby’ Houseman” remarked Raw Dog Robinson in an email interview conducted Monday night. Raw Dog was part of the ‘13 breakthrough regular season team when No Gracias nabbed his first ever 3 hits at York Field as he batted most of the day in the leadoff spot.
"The YFS is a degenerate based, character-first league and No Gracias fits our athlete criteria to a T. We sincerely hope to see more of him and his swagger in 2014...Plus he’s second in jersey sales. El Violador is no. 1, always will be” said YFS League Brass in a statement released Tuesday night.
The Black 2’s move on to take on the Red 1’s in a best of 5 global domination World Series at York Cathedral this Sunday. First pitch 10:05am. Exclusively on The Telemundo Channel.
G1: B1s: 2, B2s: 5
G2: B2s: 6, B1s: 2
HRs: Mechanic: 2 (2), Swingin' Mo: 1 (1), Gator: 1 (1), L. Wolf: 1 (1)
The Black 2’s are: Soy Peligroso, Rookie Aaron K., Swingin’ Mo, The Mechanic and The Connoisseur
The Black 1’s were: The Cobble Hill Kid, No Gracias, The Gator, The Lone Wolf and The Diamond