The Mechanic • July 13th, 2012
LOS ANGELES – In a not so shocking turn of events this morning, NY native and OG YFS Brooklyn player Evan "Chimp Dick" Z. was fired as the head of the YFS Los Angeles prospect chapter.
"We wanted to get through the All-Star weekend, and with the break we felt like this was the best time" remarked the YFS Brooklyn Commissioner The Mechanic who was reached via Skype interview. The YFS Brooklyn brass called a meeting late last night at Gallagher's gentlemen club in Queens over some areolas and draft beers.
After pouring over the reports they concluded that Evan Z. simply needed to be sacked. The LA transplant player formally know as Big Wednesday had approached the YFS Brooklyn Mothership in the spring of this year, and as many NY based players spend a fair amount of time in the southern California area, it seemed like a natural fit.
After a long week of meetings in mid April the YFS and Evan Z. reached an agreement. What followed at YFS Los Angeles was very few games, little press and just a overall limp dick approach. "To be honest, we had no idea he'd shit the bed like this, he's been playing with us since '09, it was a big reason why we gave him the contract…but then we just kept getting word back to about his inability to handle the press or run a single game much less a prospect Chapter" remarked ambassador The Diamond Haas who was hard at work on his 5th Budweiser tall boy.
Asked whether or not Evan Z. would be welcomed back for sanctioned YFS games in Brooklyn, Haas remarked, "Of course, This has nothing to do with Chimp Dick as a player, he's a great clubhouse guy and we'll welcome him back wholeheartedly, Chimp Dick just can't run a Chapter that's all, just not Chimp Dick's thing."