The Captain • May 18th, 2018
NEW ORLEANS — DSS SHIP 6ix - The World Is Yours.
DIAMONDS: The Diamond, Silky, Butcher, Double Barrel and The Captain
This team is the odds on favorite, but by no means are they guaranteed victory. After starting the season red hot the gritty Diamond is currently climbing out what was probably the biggest slump of his career. And a veteran knows that shaking off the cobwebs is not the same as being ready to win a SHIP. The Butcher can crush spirits like the first kid in high school with a car, but when he’s off he can become a giant still riding the school bus in the lineup. Silky will always be Silky, but his game has been rare this season due to a drastic lack of participation probably due to an increase of impregnation. The Captain showed signs a couple of months ago that he might not suck but those have faded drastically. And Double Barrel will be playing in his sixth SHIP, but still has yet to find his name on the trophy. Overall they are a strong club in the field, at the plate, and on the mound. In the end it’s gonna come down to how bad they want it. This team will need to look to Double Barrel to set a high standard of wanting it.
3 to 1 odds.
CLUBS: Aye Caramba, Catfish, Kool-Aid, Masher, Rookie Eliot
If Stickball was a game of team chemistry there would be no point in anyone else even showing up. These guys live and play like their dicks are on fire and they love it. The question is, will they have enough fire power to keep stride with the others, or even more specifically, will they have enough talent on the mound to ignite that fire power. Catfish and Masher are riding high off of last years victory, but their mouths may have done more this year than their game. Kool-Aid just played his best season yet, which not only included great improvements in his fielding and hitting but he also took the mound a few times. He is an asset to the Clubs and something for all the other teams to really start to worry about. Rookie Elliot is too new to fully asses but his quick decision to get a DSS tattoo shows real potential of how dangerous devotion can be. Aye Caramba shits the bed in the SHIP. That’s the truth. If it’s not then he is going to have to prove it. Pretty, real pretty, but can they fight.
4 to 1 odds.
HEARTS: Natural, Monk Menace, Hollywood, Rookie Funk
This team is a man down, but a 4 person team can be just as big of an asset as a detriment, especially if their bats get hot. The Natural at full potential is simply unstoppable, see Blue Gray 5. Yet the SHIP still eludes him. Monk wants it so bad it’s reasonable to ask if he would be willing to sacrifice his only son for a SHIP. Unfortunately wanting it and actually achieving it are different things. He’s been known to rise to the occasion, but he also seems prime to fly to close to the sun on weak wax wings. Hollywood has the tools physically, but there were a couple of times this season that seemed like a career of taking roundhouses to the dome has began to have an effect. Rookie Funk is still new to the hustle and shows great potential. He also lacks the in game maturity to be considered a real threat just yet. This team is going to come down to the Natural grabbing the raw piece of lumber they are, and shaping them into a stick of legend.
5 to 1 odds.
SPADES: Buzz Armstrong, Cyborg Fugitive, Witch Hammer, YounGun, Flap Jack
Four out of five guys on this squad have been to the mountain top. In theory there is no reason for them to not get there again. Unfortunately the game is not played in theory. They have to show up and play great ball. Buzz’s game may not be pretty, but week in and week out he gets the job done in clutch situations. The Witch Hammer never stops giving it every last piece of every last bit of every last molecule of himself. YounGun needs to learn from that. The Hammer will have to continue to lead by example and hope YounGun pulls his hair out of his eyes long enough to see how the game is meant to be played. CyFu went back to his binary basics of 1’s and 0’s this season and found a one armed swing that can drop bombs anywhere inside the cones. Still he’s going to need to find a groove on the mound that can adjust to the unconventional swings of his teammates. Flap Jack will bring his usual flapping mouth and a new beefed up Dad swagger. He’s also going to need more than that to win with this squad. Flap has to find a way to get his team to play great ball and have just the right amount of fun while they’re doing it. If he turns into a goofy wingding too soon, their quest to find the SHIP will die in the bottom of an ice chest.
8 to 1 odds.
Each player has to donate $40 to play in the SHIP and each team has to bring a case of balls to qualify. The money will be donated to the St. Patrick’s Field Booster Club, which shoulders a huge majority of responsibilities to maintain St. Patrick’s field. The 40 bucks is a base donation. They not only take great care of the field (cutting grass, laying in fresh dirt, keeping the lights on, etc.), they also take great care of us. If you can, please give more than 40. Last year we had 20 guys with a $40 donation and we raised over a thousand dollars. A bunch of us can give more and should. It’s a drop in the bucket compared to the fun we have on that field.
The SHIP is a double elimination tournament. Due to the high heat, we are taking on the schedule that allows teams to most alternate their rate of play. It sucks for the team that’s out by the third game, but helps everyone else. If you think this is unfair, don’t lose.