The Mechanic • September 4th, 2011
CONEY ISLAND – La Grievance has had his gripes. He gripes about the rules, the trees in right at York Field, small dogs, small cats, internet MILFS with full-attention nipples topping the half-inch mark, Sky Mall...the list is endless. And despite his beefs he punches in Sunday after Sunday like a thankless no pussy gettin' bathroom attendant at a Sizzler. The left-hitting La Grievance shares a dugout with the ones who feast daily on HR pie, as the mainstay of the league resides in the pull-hitting righty-favored undisclosed local York Field in Brooklyn.
But last Sunday that would all change as La Grievance stepped to the dish at Coney and in the 3rd inning of game 1 would turn on an 0-2, 34 mph lob ball and crush it over the right field fence. A historic bomb as it was LG’s first, but also the first ever jack at the most fussy slab of concrete in this league at Luna Park. A young boy picked up the eventual hall of fame Penn #2 in the right field bleachers and did the right thing by returning it to the now vindicated journeyman hitter. “He’s earned it, it is his ball, there are many like it, but this one is his, this ball is his best friend, it is his life, he has just mastered it like he will master his life, without him this ball is useless, without this ball, he is useless.” rambled the young fan who in exchange only asked for a hit off the dugout pinner and a quality pull from La Grievance's icy cold tall boy.
“I feel great today, it's all been worth it” said the out of character slugger. With the maiden Coney bomb Grievance took home the fat $100 bounty and a renewed his love for the game as he entered the symbolic oversized oak and silver laden doors at the elusive HR club and drank whatever the fuck he wanted to that afternoon.
In the second tilt, the hapless sluggers would play what will eventually be known as the Blue Ball game which went scoreless for a record 5 hours. And the players who participated will be forever be remembered as the ole 36ers–Diamond, Rookie Orhan, Craftsman, Cobble Hill Kid, Golf Shotz, Soy Peligroso, La Grievance, Mechanic, Surgeon, El Matador, The Wanderer and Graham from Chicago.
The commissioner eventually called this 8th grade dry hump fest after the light was caving in. “F this, this is over, if one of us can’t cross the dish in 4 games equivalent then we should all just go out for a pack of smokes and never come back…I don’t mean not ever, just not today”.
Season 3 keeps a rolling as the next game set for this Sunday (9/11/11) when York Field welcomes special guest Rookie Jeff K. First pitch 12:05pm.
G1: R: 5, B: 0
G2: B: 0, R: 0 (called after 36 innings)
HRs: La Grievance: 1 (1)