The Well Fed Man • August 27th, 2018
SEATTLE – Not even the maintenance-mighty DONTONIO could have foreseen the rug-pull that took place for the Minister–AKA The Mechanic’s–arrival at the newly minted Jet City Arena. After weeks of townhall turmoil and change, resulting in perfection, the JCA was ready to shine like a crazy diamond but alas, a pop up Pee-Wee Football practice threw the jock shot of the century resulting in yet another adaptation of the vaunted JCA.
Chin over shoulder, the Jet City sluggers coughed and moved to set up an alternate location east, the Mechanic and the Seattle Commish T-Bop worked out the gameplay and executed. The new in-a-pinch location laughed at the the right handed batter who couldn’t hit oppo. With a measly 180 feet to the right field barrier, JCAE dared you to sit on a pitch.
The Mechanic with kinsfolk in tow–Rookie John (Pops) and Rookie Greg (Bro), showed up to the JCA bearing hugs and carnitas. Smiles abound with the Minister at the JCA for the first time since he lifted the Jet City symbol of World Domination, The Sir Puppy Bitch Trophy, high into the sky not 10 months ago on the hallowed grounds.
Rookies John and Greg card-pulled RED alongside Rose City Steve, T-Bop and the fan favorite 206 Tar Heel who was already shotgunning Raindogs with the Puyallup Community College women’s lacrosse team who’d come to dry-hang lingerie down JCAE’s 3rd base line chain link fence.
Jet City HR leader Daisy Cutter pulled BLACK alongside all three reigning Jet City Fall Classic Champs in Two Socks, The Well Fed Man and The Mechanic. Swimmer Steve did clean up duties and rounded out the formidable BLACK squad. The Tukwila bookies set the odds at 5:2 in favor of the BLACKS.
Game 1 saw the BLACKS light up JCA East with 16 plate jobs, including a soul-breaking, Grand Salami from the JC HR leader The Daisy Cutter.
With the outcome all but certain, one could only look for moments of grandeur. Most notably, Rose City Steve who broke the HR hymen at JCA East, finished the day by scoring the REDS only runs of the game. The WFM showed up hungry and salt ‘n peppered Penn’s all over the Arena for the best hitting day of his YFS career. Attributing the significant uptick to his newly acquired BQE Bomber II aptly named (ROI). As well as Two Socks knocking the ball wherever he felt throughout the night in true Champ form.
Not to be outdone, our own Minister showed us all what it means to be mound locked-in by bounding the pool perimeter, leaping over the line, maintaining altitude and still having the hand-eye coordination to knock the ground ball back into the pool to further the AB for his teammate. A quick look at Rookie John’s performance on the day, one could easily connect the Mechanic’s athletic dots back to Papa Wrencher’s nut bag.
REDS were unable to muster any momentum, falling hard onto the canvas 16 - 2 to the well stacked BLACKS.
With the alpenglow fading, Game 2 felt like a youngster’s first time in the sack, Fast and Furious. REDS took the field and blanked BLACKS for 2 innings. Solid fielding, great teamwork and an attitude of revenge drove them to victory as REDS MVP on the day Rose City Steve drove a bomb into the blackberry bush for the one and only dusk run and literally walked off into the sunset, splitting the first night series out at JCA 1-1.
G1: R’s: 2, B’s: 16
G2: R’s: 1, B’s: GOOSE SHIT
HRs: D. Cutter: 3 (20), Rose City Steve: 3 (3)
REDs: Daisy Cutter, The Mechanic, Two Socks, The Well Fed Man and Swimmer Steve
BLACKs: 206 Tar Heel, T-Bop, Rose City Steve, Rookie Greg, Rookie John