The Mechanic  •  August 26th, 2012

CONEY ISLAND – Luna Park will make you a better YFS woodsman. Find a way to stickball-slay this south bay ice queen and your bid for the Hall just got a sizable donation. The YFS expansion field in Coney Island known as Luna Park boasts a 320' left field fence, a sub-level pitching mound, a pair of upper decks with active F and Q line trains, a 70's bush-style concrete field, a short porch in right and all of it is prude-wrapped with a gorgeous Cyclone-drenched backdrop. She's a thing of beauty. But one thing she isn't is easy. You can't book a 6:22 ressy at Bennigans and then red-line the import back to the condo to run the Patrick Swayze crotch-offense on her while the K-Ci & JoJo slow bumps from the Kenwoods.

Athletes must wield their lumber in the south bay with finesse. Players that toted the same power kit used at York Field last Sunday left with shirtpockets full of duckshit. The sluggers that forged new weapons were the ones that yielded the most. Top of the heap was Soy Peligroso who shined as he hit an impressive switch-hit jack. Peligroso showed up at the run-thirsty confines of Luna Park last week packing his seldom-used lefty cross bow. In the 7th inning of game 3, Soy P. would turn on a first pitch toss and hammer a Penn tennis ball over the right field chain-link fence near 2 peddling 4-year olds who couldn't find their way to even waft a pair of bike-seat farts in the direction of the momentous occasion. Maybe what they didn't know was that it was the first time any YFS player had switch-hit one into a set of bleachers. But this wasn't Soy's first rodeo. The already well-decorated 2011 Champ charged the inaugural Coney Bounty game last year by pre-logging substantial cage time at the mob-juiced Astoria Sports Complex in Queens.

In hindsight his efforts were not wasted as his cage card was merely put on ice until he lifted his Black team to victory on Sunday with the solo swat. Far and above the highlight of the day as the Darks vage-hair nipped the opposing Red team ending game 3 with 1-0 win.

1-0. Yep, that's the norm at Coney. Most games played at Luna Park take on a sort of post-thanksgiving nap feel. Sluggers go through uneventful innings like white-toppers rip through countless days at a retirement home. The hoots and batter-up handslaps are almost jumper-cabled out there, somewhat forcing the enthusiasm so that one doesn't just lay down on the patch-grassed concrete and suddenly forget why they are there in the first place.

Not even the 5 Samoans who came to pack 'n burn blunts in right center field stuck around to see more than 2 innings. But despite its frigid offensive confines, Luna park shines in regard to the strict YFS sud & reefer friendly field requirements as the Coney Blue must focus the majority of its patrol on the abundance of boardwalk grabass, thus greenlighting the abroad athletes so they can swill and chain-rip with back yard ease.

The flipside is that players must keep their hands a tad higher for all the rouge junkies, runaways and riff raff who pose a possible threat to completing the day's contests. And despite all of Luna's beautiful difficulty, she is slowly creeping into the hearts of players who are now beginning to see the silver lining out at Coney. "Is it a tough field? No doubt. Is it satisfying when you sneak in a double? Yes. Is it frustrating when you come 3' short from hitting a dead center bomb? You're fucking right it is. But what I do know is every guy in this league has a lifetime of ABs left in him and we're not walking from this centerfold just because she's gonna make us work for it" said the fired-up and grandstanding Secret Agent who was being snipe-photographed by the paparazzi downing what goes on record as his first post-game icy Bud tallboy.

Season 4 continues as the Dog Days are officially capped and the road to the Fall Classic begins. Next game is set for this Sunday at York Field. First pitch 1:05

The BLACKS were: Soy Peligroso, The Mechanic, Rookie T. Higgins, The Connoisseur and The Local Kid

The REDS were: The Wanderer, The Surgeon, El Matador, Le Grievance, Secret Agent and Virginia-import Rookie D. O'Neill

G1; B: 1, R: 0
G2; R: 3, B: 1
G3; B: 1, R: 0
G4; R: 1, B: 0

HRs: S. Peligroso; 1 (12)

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