The Intern  •  May 5th, 2018

LOS ANGELES – What does it take to chase stickball glory? 

Perhaps the simplest, most obvious answer is the only one - balls. 
Two of em. Swinging free as a song sung by a cowboy on the open range. 
We found out last Saturday who sported the cajones needed for this life-worthy pursuit. 

The Intern, Rookie Jeff D, Rookie Connor B AKA Easy Up, Rookie Colby P AKA CUTZ knew they would be at our Blacktop Beach-the Airfield- bright and early to hone the craft they love. 

What was uncertain was whether the legendary MOTORBOAT could muster the strength necessary to overcome a debilitating illness, raise himself from his deathbed, saunter onto our slab of glory, and guzzle enough modelos to stifle the virulent tempest churning in his guts. 


And the motherfucker even brought his 18 year old nephew in an act of multigenerational stickball stewardship so profound, the sad dads of the park, watching their over-supervised children totter about on razor scooters, could only nod in abject respect. 

See, here's the thing. Motorboat said he'd probably show. And then, in the face of a sickness that would lay low a man twice his size, he rolled up with a kid hungrier for glory than most any other grown man on this thread. Good thing he did, because lesser men of the YFSLA chapter who claimed they'd arrive, did not. And had Motorboat not looked into his heart and found the spirit of mentorship, we would have been a gang of 5 on a patch of juicy asphalt- more useless than tits on a boar. 

We'll not name names of the no-shows, for they know who they are. And the shame they carry is punishment enough. 

But enough about glory. Time to discuss the game. 

A two on two scrimmage started the day, giving rookies Connor, Colby and Jeff some glorified BP. But once Motorboat and his Nephew known only as NC-17 showed up, the official game began. 

NC-17, Motorboat and Rookie Colby P aka CUTZ drew black, leaving Rookie Connor B aka Easy Up, Rookie Jeff D and The Intern to fight for the honor of the Reds. 

A game dominated by singles and doubles resulted in few points on the board, with the Blacks putting up a single run early in the contest, and the Reds held scoreless throughout. A late inning barrage of singles from NC-17 and his compadres in the top of the 9th salted the wounds of the Reds with 4 more insurance runs. The most impressive feat of the day though was the 18 year old from Phoenix showing up, grabbing stick and proceeding to produce hits and runs without so much as a shrug- a performance all the aging sacks shuffling around their homes to the sounds of Terry Gross or clinking mimosas with people they barely know and secretly hate could only wish they felt. 

Game ball goes to Motorboat. 

B's: 5
R's: 0 

See you next week.

The Intern
YFSLA - Death From Below

Share this post

Leave a comment

Note, comments must be approved before they are published