The Intern • June 2nd, 2018
LOS ANGELES – The airfield was buzzing Saturday. 8 year old birthday boys and girls oohed and ahhed at the exploits of an off brand, mouth-breathing Spiderman while youth league soccer parents feigned interest in their children's inability to kick a ball and bajillionaire dips propped their tax shelters onto the Davos-member-only tarmac of Santa Monica Municipal Airport.
And since it was Saturday, in the midst of all this horseshit, a crew of stickball roughnecks convened from all parts of Los Angeles to hone their craft and take aim at the one percenters flying above.
The Reds sported a lean squad of Rookie Tommy O, Rookie Luke L AKA The Algorithm, and The Intern.
The Blacks batted second with a lineup featuring Rookie Josh L AKA Country Club, Raw Dog, Rookie Alex W, and Rookie Connor B AKA Easy Up.
The rust of a week off was crusty for all except Raw Dog, who loped onto the blacktop in the second inning, still digging out out the coke boogers left from the Kanye listening party he attended in Wyoming, picked up his bat, and demonstrated to the rooks how he earned his nickname when he fired a screamer over the left field wall with his first swing of the day.
That's when Tommy O, the Stickball Sweet Dick himself, woke up. After a few quick Algorithm Snipes placed precisely where the defense ain't, Tommy went yard. A towering three run shot put the Reds on the board and apparently got the Intern's stickball juices flowing, because after a couple more well placed Algorithmic Calculations, the Intern measured yardage on his own three run round tripper, capping a 6 run bombgasm in the 3rd that would hold up the rest of the game for a final of 7-3 in favor of the Reds.
The second game played out much the same as the first, with a 3rd inning orgy of scoring from Rookie Tommy and the Intern who both blasted three run homers again. But the intern went back for another helping of satisfaction with a second solo homer in that juicy juicy third, putting 7 on the board and effectively ending the hopes of any Black rally.
Apparently all those coke boogers gave Raw Dog a bit of a boost though, because in the 9th inning of the second game, the 18th inning of the day, Raw Dog summoned the strength of his ancestors to jack two solo homers that surely brought peace to the proud stickballers of yore watching down on us from their field in the sky. It was a show of fuck you self respect that everyone on Blacktop Beach had to nod in respect to. But two runs ain't seven, and the Reds walked off the field as two time victors.
G1: B's: 3, R's: 7
G2: R's 7, B's: 2
HR's: The Intern 3(13), Raw Dog 3 (7), Rookie Tommy O: 2(6)