The Intern • January 26th, 2019
LOS ANGELES – He was there at the inception, and now Dom the Deal has traded in his metro card and York Field pyromania for a bird scooter and Blacktop Beach Branded Heavy Duty Sun Cream for good. How can we be sure? All it took was one look down at his tootsies where his Tupac socks announced his renouncement of the old ways for a new allegiance to the West Coast.
The Tinsel Town fun boys were waiting with open arms, eager to show the Consiglieri the heavy stick skills they’d developed in his absence.
Chief amongst them were The Lothario and JEFF, who strutted their stuff with more confidence than Jared Leto at a Big Hats and Bad Bands Convention.
The teams split in an uneven 3 vs 4. The Reds consisting of Lothario, P,A, and The Intern while the Blacks featuring JEFF, The Algorithm and Rookie Jason took in The Deal.
The Reds swung first. P,A and The Lothario made their return to the Beach known with opening inning moonshots that were mistaken by the local park goers for Elon Musk grade rockets- sending the unaware ducking for cover, only to cheer in relief and awe at the opening display.
After that opening dick kick, the Reds held a 3-0 lead and proceeded to cruise to a comfortable 5-1 victory.
The second game was an instant classic. The Reds once again started Schwarzenegger Strong, with two runs manufactured in the first two innings, and the Blacks securing a run for themselves in the 3rd.
From there the back and forth was Sting level tantric, building up a frothy tension that was busted wide open in the 7th inning by a 5 run explosion that featured a Heavy Dick grand slam swatted by JEFF that was so impressive, the over-privileged beach children playing with their dog-baiting RC cars all collapsed in awe. The Blacks took a commanding late game 6-2 lead that put the Reds on their heels.
An 8th inning run closed the gap for the Reds to 3-6, and set up a ninth inning that demanded some cajones the size of a grown man ordering a Cosmo at a sports bar.
The Reds delivered. The Intern led off the inning with a solo shot that warmed up the side and sent a wave a fear across the outfield. P,A and the Lothario set the bases up with two more hits, and then the Lothario stepped up to the plate, checked the size of his man satchel- and deciding he’d had enough, rammed a 3 run game-ender into the beyond that was so cock-sure, all any of the degenerates could do is nod their head in respect.
No doubt Dom walked away with a renewed love of the game and an appreciation for the wild eyed passion that exists here on the sun-kissed side of the States.
G1: R’s: 5 B’s: 1
G2: B’s: 6 Rs: 8
HRs: JEFF 2 (3), Lothario 2, P,A 1, Intern 1 (8)