El Wrencher  •  April 2nd, 2018

ROSARITO, MEXICO — The Minister pushed south with LA’s Motorboat Mcpherson last weekend looking for the eventual multi-city YFS “Los Galacticos” venue and in the process shirt-pocketed a prospect chapter. “I honestly didn’t see this coming...but what it did for the YFS is further prove the potency of the game and ways which continues to resonate with dormant character-first glory hounds worldwide”. Letsatv seasoned adventure guides Waldo and Felipe began sniffing around the glory barn during the first day of the field scout by asking a barrage of questions about the YFS experience which was initially thought to simply be good bedside manner for paid hosts. The following day, Waldo candidly approached the Minister inquiring about a prospect chapter bid after already making player-recruit phone calls the night before and was swiftly granted one. “Both Motorboat and I have known Waldo and Felipe for over 12 years, but the real reason they made it inside the gate and in front of the massive oak doors of the YFS is because of their character, genuine enthusiasm for the game and just the right amount of fuckoffery...We’re excited to have these two rookies heading up our first Mexican prospect Chapter...feels right as rain...I’m commitmented to working with them to see if they can put in the hard work it takes to push to official chapter status” remarked the YFS founder from the Las Gaviotas 1-bedroom rental rotary phone.

On the Los Galacticos venue front, the Minister and Motorboat worked with the guides to help net the league 3 potential arenas: Cemetaria Estadio, La Playa Especial and Junkyard Beach. But YFS HQ isn’t sure they’ve got “the one” just yet. “We don’t rush shit around here and nobody butters our bread but us...so when it’s right, that’s when we’ll put a date on the calendar for the first ever tournament of the galaxy” said league officials back in NY who were watching the closed-circuit prospecting mission via satellite at Gallaghers 2000 gentleman club where the lap dancers hand-to-shaft time is one of the fastest in the nation. Furthermore, the Rosarito prospect chapter now knows what YFS league leaders are looking for and will keep their eyes set to hi-beams as they frequent potential stickball cathedrals in the area.

Both Rosarito rookies grew up playing street stickball and traditional baseball but eventually left the sport for various reasons. History with the game was evident as Rookie Waldo Big System-smoked a no-doubter 80 meters off the arm of the Minister to dead center at the undisclosed-local field known as La Roca Estadio for its towering 100 meter tall rock backstop, 4 meter cliff-drop outfield perimeter and Pacific Ocean views. “I’ve always known Waldo was a badass in many respects, but I had no idea he was sitting on this kind of bleacher-seat power. His swing told the world that there was still a sea of glory and fucking off left in his heart” recounted McPherson from outside Primo Tapia’s Magdalena breakfast spot last Sunday morning. The La Roca stadium was dubbed a no-go after it played short despite its 70 meter pole to pole dimensions but the vigor and skill displayed by the local Rosarito residents could not be ignored. Not to be outdone, Rookie Felipe also put one out of the yard along with a handful of laser singles. “Felipe’s batting style reminded me of one of those well executed tablecloth pull tricks...his swing was equal parts economic y automatic” remarked a mic’d up Minster from the crude pitcher’s mound at La Roca.

It’s true that Mexico is in the process of getting a trim job in the loose rules department but many parts of the country are still very much the wild west. On the trail, there was talk of crain-stacking junked cars for outfield perimeter walls, bulldozers on call to level playing slabs that needed a geo-scrape, use of mules to pack in endless suds of excitements, a fleet of mex-style rancho trucks for slugger and gear transport, etc. All we’re on the table as potential solves to overcome obstacles en route to planting a flag at the greatest cathedral on earth for the heavily anticipated YFS Los Galacticos clash. “For as long as I’ve known these guys I don’t think i’ve ever heard them say no...It’s truly remarkable” remarked Motorboat who was pulling an icey-cold Tecate tallboy from the cooler post day-1 scout.

Mexico is far from perfect but if you’d like to look past the cartel sensationalizing and inferior plumbing you’ll find a place that is exceptional with its raw beauty and people. In America, the imperfections come in different packages with heaps of overblown fear and the ever-growing litigious threat–both which can breed catatonic mental effects that you didn’t even know were there. It’s always been YFS’ position that rules are great to a point, but they can also a blue ball effect if you’ve got too many on the board. And it’s why a YFS committee is in place to swat down unnecessary rules to keep this modern stickball game and your life approach BASICS.

“The Mexico trip further solidified the YFS viewpoint and that we need to stay the course, keep slugging talls and wrenching on shit...see what we can do with it all” rambled the Minister... ”The end goal is that when it’s time for YFS sluggers to throw knuckles on death’s door that they won’t be handed a bill saying you stepped on life’s dick”.

El Wrencher’s new book “You’re fucking blowing it, Sebastian” will be out in select book stores July 1st.

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