HOBOKEN – The YFS Minister released a statement last night after meeting with select Mothership Brass last Wednesday evening at Brooklyn’s unmarked clubhouse The Sixty-Eight. “Jet City has a great field, great players, shows flashes of glory brilliance then follows it up with one of those long silent plane-seat farts that smells for 3-4 weeks” said the Minister.
“...In short, YFS Seattle is weakening the SRLD badge”. The Emerald city Chapter has recently scored high in the willing to travel department but as far as basic duties the Chapter is running like downturned neighborhood junkie-ran Blimpie sub shop. Sparse invites, not a write-up for miles, infrequent games...I may be called Stickball Dad by some but I’m not after being anybody's Dad when it comes to taking care of your Chapters business. I think most know that this isn’t a right but a privilege and I will shut down anybody looking to fart up the place.”
On the hook for Jet City is all official chapter privileges: including inner Chapter travel games, the HR stats vaulted in Costa Rica will be removed and put on ice. And of course no invite for the upcoming Galacticos in Baja Mexico. The league simply asks to host 2 games a month during your regular season with invites and recaps at a minimum. And just doing that only gets you a C- in this league. Explore the space. Fuck it up. Be your best Dipshit.
It’s true the Minister has deep roots in the PNW and personally hand picked the Jet City arena there but it won’t stop him from shutting it down should the Chapter not turn things around withing the standard cock-soggy watchlist 30 days.
What people don't realize is it takes an army to create something great and far and above the joy of what’s being hawked these days at mall kiosks. Time will tell if Seattle gets the hook or will fix up and get on board for the big win. Either way, decisive action will be taken on August 6th from HQ.
The Little Red Hen book (ages 3-7) has been sent to the Jet City Brass as a helping aid.
This seems serious. Probably need an intervention. Bring some scrubs to Jet City and let’s discuss while slapping taters.