The Minister • November 30th, 2020
YFS Player: JOOOSE
Chapter: Rose City
Years in the League: 3
Career Bombs: 3
Career Postseason Bombs: 0
World Titles: 0
WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Tacoma, WA
HOW DID YOU GET INTO THE LEAGUE? We moved to Oregon from North Dakota 3 years ago...some of you might not know, but Lobster (aka Daddy Lobstah, aka Jake), is my adorable baby brother. Right away, he invited us to a game of stickball and after that first Sunday, I was hooked.
WHAT’S BEHIND YOUR NICKNAME, JOOSE? I have no idea...I wish there was a great story behind it, but honestly, Wanderer just did a write up one day and in it he called me Jungle Juice, touting something about being sweet and innocent, but will leave you hugging the porcelain throne. Now I bring Jungle Juice to all the big games, which I’m sure everyone loves and hates, since it’s poison in a delicious disguise. The name has transformed over the past couple years and after a few OJ Simpson jokes, JOOSE stuck. The boys also like heckling me with long, drawn out “JOOOOOOOOOOSE” calls when I’m at the plate...
WHAT’S YOUR BEST YFS MEMORY? How does one choose?? It’s gotta be a toss up between beating the Jet City Plow Boys on their own turf in the Shitbox Skirmish Royale for the VW Beetle (Landmine and Daisy still cry themselves to sleep over it), and having the Brooklyn Boys out to Rose City. (I’ve never seen a man more concerned about the food at a strip club than Rizzo at Portland’s finest- The Lucky Devil.) Any event to meet other dipshits from around the country is always memorable. We’ve all got that unexplainable twinkle in our eye…
We also play a night game every year on my birthday, which is a blast. We rent a light, put up some canopies, and sip some Jungle Juice in the rain. And although it’s always miserable weather, the Rose City Dipshits come out of their dank holes for a few hours to get their taste of off-season glory, which I appreciate.
NOT ONLY ARE YOU THE FIRST FEMALE / HER / HERS / WOMAN / LADY / BOOB CARD CARRIER IN THE YFS BUT THE FIRST TO GO YARD – IS THIS OF ANY SIGNIFICANCE TO YOU OR ARE YOU LIKE “WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH PEOPLE CONCERNED ABOUT BODY PARTS?” I’m not going to lie, it feels good being treated like a unicorn, but I truly hope more females feel confident to sashe onto a stickball field. In our own league, we’ve had quite a few ladies join us at the slabyard and I love playing with them. In the last Classic, my team was outnumbered with women 3 to 2, and although we didn’t win, I was excited to have such classy dames as teammates. I’ve grown up with boys being surprised at how far I can throw a football or hit a baseball, and I’ve always liked proving them wrong when it comes to their notions about women and sports. However, stickball is much more than hitting dingers. I think my personality lends itself to the game and the league, and with all of that combined, that’s why the fact I’m a proud boob card carrier is significant.
IF COVID CAN FUCK OFF IN TIME, DO YOU PLAN TO ATTEND THE GALACTICS II IN THE SPRING OF 2021? Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise!
JOOSE wears the YFS Rose City Snapback. Link to get yours here.