The Wanderer • August 16th, 2018
PORTLAND – The well oiled rookie gate was flung open yet again as Hamm’s fueled prospects flooded Rose City Coliseum for their own little slice of glory.
Stickball recently became recreational in the state of Oregon after long being banished from the region. Word has it, merchants from Mexico in years past were bringing up a cheap crude form of the stuff and profiting off it many generations ago, leading to a nationalist motivated ban. After a recent stint of being medically prescribed for Glory Deficiency Syndrome (GDS), the people have spoken and stickball is now through a number of loopholes: mostly legal.
“I tried it once when i was in high school and ended up passed out in an aisle at Fred Meyer three cans deep on Smacks” quoted Rookie Kyle. “It’s just hard to know how your body is going to react when you're not used to so much glory”.
Hearts and Diamonds squared off in two action packed soap operas, harvesting glory right up until the very end of daylight.
“Getting double-glacier on them smacks” as the kids are saying on snapchat.
Rose City Second Inaugural Season THE WORLD IS YOURS™ continues next week live on NPR.
Hearts: Wanderer, R. Kyle, R. Mareika, R. Nate, R. Nick, R. Tyler
Diamonds: Big Trip, The Outdoorsman, The Lobster, Big Steve, R. Brody, R. Aaron
G1: D’s: 5, H's 3
G2: H’s: 7, D’s: 3
Dingers: The Wanderer 3 (15*), Big Trip 2 (29*)