Salary • October 26th, 2019
Perhaps the sores on Dr Big Dick's eponymous member flared up so bad he couldn't roll out of bed or even find a breath to shout to his off brand discount smartphone "Greeting Cortana- email YFSLA to tell them I can't make it" between howling for his mother to salve the burning of his namesake donger, or perhaps Large Member PhD's colon was paying for what was surely a very lonely 2 am taco bell binge after a night of telling any female within earshot about his job as the head fluffer for Naked and Afraid, but whatever the unknown reason, Dr Big Dig pulled another No call no show FOR THE SEASON OPENER NO LESS.
This is not the first time the Dong Doc has pulled this stunt. In fact, it's become an upsetting pattern of behavior that needs to be corrected.
We the YFSLA brass hate to harsh the vibes of our Funboy Project, but every once and a while, it needs to be made clear that the love and respect we show for each other is best made manifest in the commitment we make to our stickball brethren.
As such, we are handing out YFSLA's first ever suspension to Dr Big Dick. A two game suspension goes into effect this week as a result of this repeated behavior.
Once served we will welcome him back with open arms, trusting that this upsetting pattern of behavior has been corrected.