The Intern • May 29th, 2018
LOS ANGELES – Two Saturdays ago the West Coast Syndicate experienced either the emergence of a once-in-a-generation talent as well as an painful exercise in mass emasculation, or perhaps just a fluke on the cosmic scale of a coked up comet burning so bright, so brilliant, so full of promise, that it flames out as it creates its one time arc across the heavens, never to be seen again- like an IT guy who huffed every air duster in the supply closet before pitching his idea for an android only biscuit locator app to the investors of Shark tank.
Nevertheless, what happened Saturday was impressive. First timer Rookie Spencer N casually walked on the field, soaked up the rules with a Savant's understanding, and proceeded to hit absolute bomb after bomb into the majestic firs that line Blacktop Beach's outfield. From at bat one to his final of game one, Rookie Spencer N made it clear he thought little of the average Stickball duffer's struggles to manufacture a Banger out of torqued sinews, beery sweat, and sheer will. His swing was one of intimidating ease, like a male lion confronting Jared Kushner armed only with his Patek Felippe watch. Every connection was never in doubt. And as a result we all hated/respected the East Side Lumberjack for it.
Enough about that asshole. This is the way things went -
The cards placed Rookies Jeff D, Josh L, Tommy O the Stickball Lothario, and Spencer N under the tutelage of Big Weds for the Reds.
The Blacks sported a squad of Rookies Connor B AKA Easy Up, Colby P AKA CUTZ, Luke L AKA The Algorithm with The Intern and a late arriving Raw Dog.
And as described above, Rookie Spencer N made his mark known at his first at bat in the second inning, blasting a towering two run shot to right that left every Tinsel Town Fun Boy checking his betweeners to see if they'd shriveled back up into his turkey cavity.
In his next two at bats, Spencer N the RBI Sexbot, continued to tee off, driving in 4 more runs. Leaving the Blacks reeling down 6.
But in the bottom of the 5th, perhaps inspired by his fellow rookie's showing, Rookie Connor B AKA Easy Up busted his first YFS nut in massive fashion, spraying an opposite field Grand Slam into the trees and bringing the score to a manageable 4-6.
Then, in attempt to steal glory from Easy Up's first major round tripper, the Reds claimed it was only a pedestrian three run blast. Tempers flared at such a baseless claim, leading to heated words between The Intern and Rookie Josh L. And perhaps fueled by the adrenaline of that exchange, or perhaps just wishing to bestow a lesson to the Rook about baseless shit talk- The Intern immediately slapped a single bomb over the head Rookie Josh L. The score was now 6-5 in favor of the Reds.
But of course all that drama was for nothing as the Automatic Rookie Spencer N continued his one man deforestation campaign with another Tree Tapper to seal the game for the Reds.
Thankfully though, perhaps out of boredom or perhaps because there was a harem of women waiting to enjoy his potency, Rookie Spencer N trotted off into the weeds, leaving us mere mortals to our second game, an excellent back and forth affair that saw Rookie Josh L bust his own YFS cherry with a pair of opposite field smashes, and Tommy O continuing his deep dicking of our Serene Confines with a slap of his own. The Intern attempted to rally his boys with a massive left field bomb that put three runs on the board for the Blacks, but it was quickly answered by a 2 run rally for the Reds, giving them a second win on the day.
With Memorial Weekend behind us, the YFSLA chapter steps into the final stretches of its inaugural season, including a playoff that will be etched forever in the annals of YFSLA lore. It's getting serious out there on the Dog Pound.
G1: R's: 8, B's: 6
G2: B's: 3, R's: 6
HR's: Rookie Spencer: 4 (4). Rookie Josh L: 2 (2), The Intern: 2 (10), Rookie Tommy O: 1 (4)
Death From Below