Chapter: Katfish
Home Ballpark: Everywhere and anywhere he goes
Years in the league: 7

The Chosen one is the YFS platinum dipshit model that doesn't identify with the YFS, or anything that has that stupid YFS mark on it and doesn’t have the far superior KATFISH mark name branded, sharpied, or tattooed on it. KGU is the Kleenex of Dipshits if a Dipshit were a go anywhere snot goalie. The Peleton of Dipshits if a Dipshit were a dumb TV-bike that doesn’t go anywhere when you peddle it. Katfish would just get a cheap ass bike at Zucky’s ‘n Things and have enough scratch left over to open up the garage doors, cut loose on the open road, meet people, consensually press some flesh, and go tallboy-tastin’ all over God's green earth. Katfish would have never signed off on a dumb go-nowhere bike. KG’s smile makes you smile. And wherever Katfish goes the joint instantly turns to gold as hundy-dollar Vons gift cards fall from the popcorn ceilings.

2 () THE SURGEON AKA Dr. Swat AKA Chingon MD
Chapter: Brooklyn Mothership
Home Ballpark: York Field
Years in the league: 12

Not only did The Surgeon stuff all of Brooklyn’s ball bags down a caution cone in the 2020 playoffs while taking home back-to-back Fish to pull even with The Relic at 6. The Surgical has authored over a thousand bombs at the field that birfed all you MFers and has single-handedly tinted a section of the BQE, a shade of neon Penn green which is visible on Google earth. The Swat Doctor also had time to take residence in the op room and hot-master the 1-800 Dipshit hotline that curated some of the finest rants, musings, confessions, hot takes, and poetry, which was the ear candy that cupped all of our tits through the 2020 dumpster fire with thoughtfulness, laughs, and an understanding that we could use a daily pick me up to keep from dipping below the sanity line. Surge was also a co-creator of the Quarantine Dream tournament that pulled many BK Mothershippers from their homes, dumbphone foxholes, and incognito laptop porn windows to glory worship with some much needed IRL ball. The good doctor effortlessly ever-leans into the well-being of you and your YFS lifestyle while bleeding a philosophy of “Don’t ask what fuckoffery can the YFS can do for you, but what fuckoffery can you do for the YFS?”

3 (U) THE DEAL AKA D AKA D Likes You
Chapter: YFSLA
Home Ballpark: The Dirt
Years in the league: 9

The Deal really thrives when late-night banging YFS code. Kid flat out gets it. Deal was one of the brain childs on the YFS Dipshit auction that was a cornerstone of hope and light during one of the darkest stretches of our lives. D helmed the auction with such reckless unfiltered vigor and freedom and leaned so far into stupidity that he emerged on the other side, slo-motion from a vat of oregano-seasoned olive oil, dripping with gold-plated talent, next level idiot leadership skills, and an even bigger wang. What stood before our eyes was a glistening perfect dipshit-chiseled stickball specimen for all to worship from that moment forward. Post transformation, D’s phone was hit with so many emails, texts, DMs, littered with all kinds of tit, dick, vagina, armpit (u wanna fuck on this, D?) and balloon-tie asshole pics (Yo D, how about taking a few weeks off and getting dick-lost up in this twister?) that the Deal’s phone just blew the fuck up right on the spot. When D went to his local cellular provider to get a replacement, a white security officer named Leroy, tackled him and his big new wang and told him he couldn't enter the flagship store because there wasn’t a phone in the store, or the galaxy he added, that could handle that kind of DM payload—it simply didn’t exist. The Deal is a perfect whisky-blend of fuckoffery, ‘yeah baby’, and is gift-equipped with a dont-fuck-with-The-D big-ass corazon. The Deal was also pivotal in convincing the Minister to sign the flex-sex bill, allowing all repro forms to come fuck off on the YFS coveted pitches despite not toting a sweet wang.

Chapter: Dirty South
Years in the league: 6

Soldier moves. Pivotal Tactics. Efficiency of a Dummy sums up 2020’s number four. Monk is a true gentleman, laser focused, doing it all while being a current Galactics Champ. The Menace of Rojo is the in-line 6 engine of the YFS league. Back up tanks on his back up tanks as he can move through a tournament steady, sure, and chained-up should there be any surprise snow dumps on those high mountain glory roads. Red Menace holds his ground with integrity in a topsy turvy world and highly emotional stretch in our lifetime. And he chose to voice-up some real shit that was on his breasts about the league in the 2020 which wasn't easy and we loved it because it was an authentic expression to keep things on the right side of the tracks for the league and ever-pointed in the right direction. Dirty South’s Monk is a true stone brother with a deep league vision that will serve the greater dummy for many generations to come.

Chapter: Dirty South
Home Ballpark: Skechers Stadium
Years in the league: 8

Southern Diamond is that player who gives you everything he got and for him it's still not enough. He’s one of the most innovative colorful idiots in the league. One of the lead brain-dummies behind the Wide Open tournament that was put on ice during the pandemic. A creative mind, a fierce competitor that will crapmatic shit in your YFS dreams, then moments later post game cook you up a delicious gumbo, rhubarb cobbler, and be your best friend with an open heart and plenty of what-can-I-do-for-you attitude. Nobody in the league lives their life with this open of a heart. N2B will also keep any motherfucker in check, despite rank, if he believes this effort is veering and has zero problem falling on the sword if it means protecting the sanctity of what has been built here. If you try to pay him any respects he will most likely flash you a quick smile and then ask how he can be of service to you and if you need a refill on that drink you are holding.

Chapter: Jet City
Home Ballpark: Jet City Arena
Years in the league: 4

Old man magic truth snow-capped with juvenile zest. Daisy Cutter lights money a blaze to optimize his life and all those around him. He is the true fuckoff’s fuckoff. DC knows no bounds of travel and idiocracy and does it all with a big heart. He will buy you a beer, lend his time for the greater dumbshit good. He’ll open up his house, let you drink his top shelf of brown, drive his Porsche, shoot his guns, and eat all his Thai food and Wheaties. Daisy Cutter clocked a record Dipshit frequent flier miles higher than anybody in the league in 2020 and leads by pure stupid example. Daisy Cutter has also made more crap with his face on it for the lofty goal to see if it can make you unhappy, because that of course, makes him happy.

Chapter(s): Rose City
Home Ballpark(s): The Slabyard
Years in the league: 4

Big Trip and the Son of Stickball duo take a crap in this year's 7 slot. This dummy-duo is locked in and running white hot carrying the youth YFS flag for the league and are doing it sky higher than Cheech ‘n Chong. These two free flowing shit heads run on dualy tanks of big love, almond lotion, and stankweed. Free fuckabouts who are true ambassadors to the SRLD shield. They hold it down for the economically challenged ones who don’t let it keep the deserving from living a rich as fuck YFS lifestyle. The Southern PNW boys get it. And preach the YFS religion at every turn. They are true beacons of glory. And the league is forever grateful for their understanding and existence.

Chapter: Rose City
Home Ballpark: Slabyard
Years in the league: 11

The Casual Champ was the co-creator of the dipshit auction. Wanderer was a pioneer in implementing the ladies, hybrids, and whatnot into the league. Wanderer was actually shitcanned by the Minister 6 weeks prior to the decision, but held the line on his belief that this shouldn't be about toting around dicks, but for all creations, and to his credit, he helped the Minister understand that we all need a dummy light outlet regardless of what you’re repro-packing under those chinos. A pivotal and important league move and gift that cannot go unnoticed.

Chapter: BK Mothership
Home Ballpark: York Field
Years in the league: 3459

The stalwart of dumb. Hard to break into the list when you are the list, as this once again, is some Nick Cage Face-Off shit. Comeback Dipshit player of the year. Diamond is the OG of dummies before you even knew what a YFS dummy looked like. Diamond is the league’s OG leading examples of shittalk, drank, love, dancing and timely hits, and original get ups. When your squad dugout gets this beautiful buffoon, it’s true, you need to hire a $20 an hour babysitter to keep an eye on him but it’s worth it. Diamond also authored the book “Why oil a swing when you can show up oiled”. Diamond was out for a bit, but has returned and found his way back with a smile wider than the ocean on a bottle of Cutty Sark. There isn’t a deeper cut YFS baller walking the modern earth.

10 (U) JOOSE
Chapter: Rose City
Home Ballpark: Slabyard
Years in the league: 3

Your Tacoma-Born YFS mother. The one you’ve been waiting for to balance out all those nuts swinging and sloshing around out at the yard. Joose is the real deal. She handles her business and is the one the YFS references on how to operate on and off the field. She stood up and flapped at the lead idiot the Minister at the YFS Shitbox Skirmish Royal and made him recognize there was attention needed to be paid. Da Joose goes yard. Will pocket your hopeful gap hits. Talks shit with the best of them. Presence, grace, and ability on legs with a side order of tits. Your Stickball Mom – and y’all need a good one, and we are all beyond lucky to have her as ours.

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