The Minister • June 20th, 2019
MEXICO - The YFS from the onset has made a BASICS promise to play its game unhinged and in full color while steering clear of the bullshit and the overly serious types. “Puro Pedo” as Rosarito’s El Toro says. The YFS will continue to lean hard into the idiotic light and spawn laughs across its bow while helping along the way. Good things happened on earth last March. And the goal of the YFS now moves forward with even more clarity as it continues to define itself by not trying to figure out all of life’s big questions. After sifting through what others told us we should be happy with, the YFS kept searching and broke through a clearing to look up and see that their glory mountain was even bigger than they imagined. “The Mexican Galactics was proof this YFS approach is resonating and worth continued exploration” said the Minister from outside a Kohl’s outlet in New Jersey. “...HQ promises that Mexico was only the tip of the idiotberg. And the league will never look to perfect itself or make it a goal to hang merch in Dick’s Sporting Goods...actually that’s a pretty solid dick joke so we’re keeping that one on the table” remarked the YFS founder as he loaded his ‘09 Volvo SUV with a pair of sensible down vests and a 6-pack of dress socks with a savings of over 70% off the original sticker price.
But what would a YFS Galactics I write up would be complete without mention of the fucking Champs? The New Orleans Chapter not only won, but rock-smashed Brooklyn’s windows in a finals route for the ages. Not since the league witnessed Brooklyn’s 2012 Fall Classic Semis where the Black 1’s put up 60 runs over 3 games has a YFS post season series came close to playing out like this.
The New Orleans Chapter Champ team rolled into Tijuana with 3 clinicians in The Natural, Monk and Sugar. If HBO’s Westworld had a stickball team, these 3 talented stiffs were it – reserved, calculated, and highly capable. Once inside the doors of the Dandy Del Sur Cantina, the trio needed a goofy hood ornament to loosen up their could-be oxy-shit dugout bowels. “New Orleans adds….El Paraguas!” belted out Mama Glory amongst the raucous Cantina crowd. And just like that they added the #1 YFS power ranked Diphit in Katfish Global and in an instant changed everything and made this team loveable, laughable and one that could fill seats. On and off the field, KG brought the casa and turned in a performance of a lifetime. Bookending this Galactic Champ squad was Natural and Katfish. The odd couple banging bombs onto an elevated Mexican tuft of pacific oceanside land on their way to the first YFS Galactics Championship. The sweet and the salt manning the buzzsaw from first pitch. Add mondo-hitting Sugar and Monk on this team and the finals tilt was seemingly over once they plugged in. New Orleans was the epitome of a squad having a day. But the bigger point being made here is this effort brought the oddballs of Kat and Nat together who without the YFS game could easily be exchanging birds in rental car parking lots right now in some sliding doors analogy. But here they were, matching smiles and hoisting the Nancy B. Wood hardware high in the sky together in remote Mexico. Katfish Global continues to promote his brand saying it’s all about him. But spend 1 minute with the New King and you know he is about the collective happiness of everybody. Which begs the question as the YFS grows, who will be next in the opposites department to enter the giant YFS doors and come out smiling and slapping 5’s.
Nola’s Monk, Sugar, Katfish and Natural now hold the highest honor in this YFS design that has been in the works for 10 years. For the next 2 calendar years, be sure to get their autographs, double-tap their internet phone pictures. Respect them. Laud then. They deserve every hand and back slap they can get.
Maybe even better than the Champs in many ways were our new YFS Rosarito cabrones and Mexican hosts. YFS Rosarito and their friends repped as big as the biggest Chapter in just under 4 months without even playing a single game prior to the Galactics. Working under a Minister pardon, the Rosarito team showed up and beat YFSLA in a 2 game sweep in the first round. Indicative of their ability to do things in triple time they did nothing different when it came to getting up to speed. And they not only participated but made the league better and more woke. There wasn’t one American (other than a handful of pant shitters) that didn’t roll back into San Diego while sipping their worry-free tap water feeling like they might want to turn around. Even the behind-the-scenes dual producer players in El Toro and The Mechanic saw real-time amazement where as most endeavours take years to marinate and emerge as something wonderful that took place in one’s life. But all who went quickly said, “What exactly did we just see and what the fuck just happened?” Mexico’s El Toro, El Borracho, Rookie Luis, La Bomba, Punta Manana and Rookie Omar made a spirit-dent in all of us because they saw what we started in Brooklyn and made it even better as they rolled out the rojo carpet and welcomed us into their country. And further showed us, it is not about any one of us, but what can happen when we collectively play this game right. Some real life Walt Disney shit happened over those 4 days and all who went felt it in spades.
The YFS Galactics II are set for end of March 2021 for all qualifying Chapters. More idiots will line up to come this time. And as this grows, the next one will cost more. But it will be oh so worth it.
FINALS GAME 1; NO: 27, BK: 1
FINALS GAME 2; BK: 2, NO: 4
New Orleans is: Natural, Monk, Sugar and Katfish Global
Brooklyn was: Rizz Everywhere, Stinkmitt, Meat Dolphin and El Mechanico
Day 3 HRs (Semi’s and Finals): Natural: 9 (18), Nerf Hoops: 5 (8), Mechanic: 5 (5), Sugar: 4 (12), Katfish Global: 3 (8), Rizz Everywhere: 3 (8), Stinkmitt: 2 (2)