Southern Diamond • March 5th, 2021NEW ORLEANS – During the alacrity of the early inning transition last Saturday someone asked the score. Diamond yelled something like “4-2, good guys.” It didn’t take long for Kitty Cap to correct him with a “Fuck that. We ain’t the good guys. This is a bar fight.” “A salad bar fight,” laughed Surgeon. Silence. Smirks. The Hearts swiftly loosened the arugula from their ponytail holders and never looked back. Here are a couple more thoughts from an intrepid Saturday in the...
SOME DAZE ARE DIAMONDS: NO LADLING OF GRAVY EVER ENOUGH FOR BROOKLYN’S GREEDY BIMBOS IN TEN-GAME GAUNTLET FUCKATHON
Jeffrey Bomber • September 19th, 2020
BROOKLYN – “I love the smell of tennis balls in the morning,” said Wasabi Harmless, huffing the new car smell out of a freshly cracked Penn can and chasing it down with a whiff of the old shnoz salts.
“I love friendship,” I whispered to myself. A sad, nervous habit I picked up during my New England solo quarantine days.
“Shut up,” everyone chimed.
“They have ears like bats,” I whispered, quieter yet.
“Shut up,” they echoed.
Having set our alarms the night before for 4:30 a.m.,...
Son of Stickball • October 25th, 2020
ROSE CITY SLABYARD — A blooming gale sang a violent song upon the window panes some cold October morning, a biting reminder that although the skies were clear and bright, the memories of summer were quickly fading.
Harried by the Autumnal squall, Rose City’s Misfit Diptshits filed in and settled around a table of an abundant spread. There were urns of spiked cider prepared by Rose City’s eternal Madonna, JOOSE, a simmering pot of gumbo, the Son of Stickball’s humidor filled with stogies and gummi...
Salary • January 5th, 2021
THE WASTELANDS - Early Saturday morning a modern day John Henry, less muscular though infinitely more inked, hacked with a reciprocating saw into a wall of unruly hedge with a rhythm less that of a chugging freighter headed north on the Union Pacific line, and more a wild, unrhythmic thrash of early punk stalwarts The Randoms. He paused when a grown man wearing knee high Christmas socks, a tie dye shirt and electric green athletic shorts approached. He looked up.
“If you grab the cut down stuff and throw it over there,...
DIRTY SOUTH’S ROOKIE GIANCARLO STUFFS HIMSELF AT THE THANKSTAKING TABLE AS JET CITY'S DAISY CUTTER AWAITS INTERLEAGUE PLAY AT THE SKECHERS® SUPERDOME THIS WEEKEND
Rooster • November 30th, 2020
NEW ORLEANS – Four pitchers carry a no hitter through three and one half innings as the Turkey Day Hangover seemed to be a formidable opponent for both teams to start. Sugar and Rookie G finally get on board, then Rookie G malfunctions and swats Spider’s infield ground ball into the outfield for the third out of the inning. It was a learning moment for the young g slugger. Scoreless through four. Rooster is the first of the Reds to reach base in the top of the fourth, and gets stranded there leaving the score...