News

Seadderall • May 19th, 2019

SEATTLE – After the joie de vivre from Jet City's Grapefruit Tits spring training, the YFS loyal Plowboys collectively found themselves battling world travels, fatherhood, tap-dancing for the man and limitless hours hunting for dentures before finding time to officially kick off Season Three “JustSayWhyTheFuckNot” out at JCA. The sun was shining and the grumpy old men were keen to show Hoboken that while sometimes seen as slow, the tortoise can still win the race.

Hours prior to first pitch, Big Bat Bacon was found wide-eyed awaiting in...

The Intern  •  April 20th, 2019

LOS ANGELES – Before she opened her eyes Cynthia instinctually reached her arm out to feel the left side of the bed and felt only the cool sheets where Allan used to sleep. After an instant of panic, she opened here eyes and looked at the pillow.  It all came rushing back. It had been 6 weeks since her life partner left. And no mater what her married-with-one-kid friends Ben and Shanna said over their monthly Tuesday Night glass of Rose at The Tasting Kitchen, no matter how often she looked...

The Son of Stickball  •  May 12th, 2019

PORTLAND – Your favorite sluggers from Rose City decided again to have an evening tilt so as to leave the morning open for Mother's Day brunch-- which, for the moms of these legends, amounted to ripping fat lines of dirty blow and cranking margaritas by the pitcher. As the mother's milk of Hamm's began flowing, the competitive edge settled into the hearts of our Penn crushers and pregame conversation devolved into an argument of whose mom had the illest sweater yams. Brody Lite Lime blew them all out the water...

Hot Dog Harrison  •  May 17th, 2019

HEARTS - Flapjack, Butcher, Sugar, Natural, Ay Caramba - Let’s just fucking face it.  This team is a B-52 bomber, an aircraft carrier, and a tank rolled into one and raining giant dicks down upon anyone they face to fuck them into oblivion.  They’ve got the bats of gods, can cover the field like global warming, and swag like their nuts scape the ground when they walk.  But even Achilles has his heel.  Can they keep all this talent together as a team?  Are there too many chefs and not enough cooks? ...

COCKADOODLE DOO, DIPSHIT. Tomorrow morning when you’re hitting the button on your keurig insta-cup, the Brooklyn Mothership faithfuls will be deep into their second Tallboy and will have deployed a minimum 5 fence hoppers. The league wants nothing more than to continue messing with the realities that have been put in place. “When i’m done playing a Rooster I feel like I just spent the morning surfing” remarked BIG SEX from an instagram comment window. In other news, The #1 ranked Chapter NOLA will light wiks on their 7th end of the season tournament titled, The Ship. Whomever...