News
YFS ROSE CITY HOPPED UP ON SMACKS
The Wanderer • August 16th, 2018
PORTLAND – The well oiled rookie gate was flung open yet again as Hamm’s fueled prospects flooded Rose City Coliseum for their own little slice of glory.
Stickball recently became recreational in the state of Oregon after long being banished from the region. Word has it, merchants from Mexico in years past were bringing up a cheap crude form of the stuff and profiting off it many generations ago, leading to a nationalist motivated ban. After a recent stint of being medically prescribed for Glory Deficiency Syndrome...
SEATTLE’S LANDMINE “CANSECOS” WHILE HIS BFF DAISY CUTTER SHINES WITH 6 JAMBOONS AT THE AGAIN-DESIGNED JET CITY ARENA III
The Well Fed Man • August 5th, 2018
SEATTLE — For the third straight week the Jet City athletes arrived to a fan-filled Arena for a day of tall Raindogs, bush bombs and laughs far away from the heroin-sucking screens and deep in YFS glory country. Seattle Commissioner T-Bop cracked open the day with a vintage set of buxom ‘n bush playing cards as BLACK and RED slugger squads were decided as they all readied for the first tilt of the day.
“I wasn’t sure what to expect when I saw...
SURGEON DOMINATES BK’S MID-SUMMER CLASSIC, ADDS TO HIS RIPPED-OUT HEARTS COLLECTION AS AGENT AND CO. BATTLE ADVERSARY BUT NOBODY WILL REMEMBER THEM BECAUSE NOBODY REMEMBERS LOSERS EVEN IF THEY TRIED REALLY HARD BECAUSE THIS ISN’T KINDERGARTEN
The Shepard • July 29th, 2018
BROOKLYN – He waved his cheery good-byes to an admiring family, set his weapon of choice on one shoulder, jauntily fixed his cap to a more ponytail-accommodating angle and marched forward. Come what may, the Secret Agent would show himself ready to fight for his squad. He would bring glory to God, Country and Meatball Slingers near and far. He would prove himself deserving of what he knew he already deserved: he would win the red badge of courage attendant with victory at the 2018 Midsummer Showdown.
To...
JET CITY’S D. CUTTER CHEF’S UP BAG OF BLT’S AS DUGOUTS CARB-LOAD AND THEN ‘PETE-NORTH' UP THE ARENA’S BLACKBERRY BUSH WITH RECORD 27 BOMBS
The Well Fed Man • July 22nd, 2018
SEATTLE – Sunday - a day observed by billions around the globe as a day of rest. Instead the men of Jet City put in hard work atop of YFS’ glory mountain and hauled in one of the more entertaining double headers in the Chapter’s young history. Powered by Daisy Cutter’s Bag’O’BLT’s and Rainier Talls from the chapter-sponsored 757 Grocery, the sluggers of JC peppered the new field configuration with 27 Bombs including 2 GIVE-ME-ALL-YOUR-MEATS-AND-CHEESES base cleaners....
JET CITY’S CAMPAIGN TO SHAKE OFF HQ-FLUNG CATSHIT BEGINS AS D. CUTTER DAZZLES SAMOAN YOUTH WITH TOWERING 300’ FOUL BALL